When did I give up? Was it on a Monday, or possibly a Wednesday? Did the thought occur to me one morning on my drive to work, or was it during an episode of insomnia in the quiet hours when all others are sleeping? When did I finally convince myself that I am no good at photography? When did I finally admit to myself that I have no true talent for this medium? When did I decide to accept the idea that the praise of others about my work is false and mere pandering so that I might return the favor? Does it really matter when it happened? No, not really.
What has it cost me? Joy. Sounds like a silly word, but that pretty much sums it up. The joy I used to experience in creating images, talking about images, encouraging others and making connections with like minded photographers.
It occurred just this month. It is as easy as not responding to an email or comment from another photographer...a missed connection. What have I cost myself?....I may never know.
Life has a funny way of working out though. By some sequence of events beyond my knowing, I have an opportunity to make a connection that I had chosen to pass up just a short while ago. Not a believer in fate or destiny, I don't believe "it happened for a reason". But I do believe that I will take advantage of this 2nd chance. I will let it serve as a reminder to me that joyful experiences are out there if I choose to participate. I will now commit to not comparing myself to others in the world of photography but rather endeavor to learn from them and continue to explore my own creative motivations.
Thanks for bringing me back. I've missed being here.
Random check of a bookmark and here I am. Good to see you are back as I enjoyed reading your posts.
Posted by: Derrick | July 23, 2009 at 08:15 PM
Thanks Derrick...its nice to hear that I wasn't talking to myself all this time. I am looking forward to writing/posting again. Thanks for sharing in the experience.
Chuck
Posted by: Chuck | July 24, 2009 at 11:31 AM
Checked back for the first time in a while...
a wry smile as i read this... funny because i spent the past week going over (and over) your urban melancholy images thinking how awesome that project was, and still is. it's a rare beast that stands a test of time in this day and age.
i recently migrated my blog to wordpress - nearly killed me but all the links are preserved. i wrote about "narrative photography" - talked about you (again) as a primary inspiration.
i want to know more about what you were thinking when you wrote this - and where you went after.
this post is fascinating - and needs a punctuation mark.
Posted by: Lawrence | November 24, 2009 at 03:23 AM
I wish I was at the 2nd chance point. I'm sitting her googling depressed + photographer to see if I'm alone, because I feel alone. I've made beautiful images for people but when I'm so down I just think there are so many others who can do this better and I've made emotional images that connect to my depression and anxiety but I think no one wants to see that and be reminded of unhappiness and now I make none, no images at all... well I use my iPhone and do work when I have too but I stand so far from my gear it's becoming foreign to me. I feel like I'm taking the easy way out, just quitting... but there is a part of me that doesn't want to but I don't know how to really hang onto that. I wish I could get back but I don't know how... but I've stumbled on your site and I'm going to keep looking...
Posted by: Nancy | January 03, 2010 at 06:50 PM
What Chuck doesn't realise is that i'm not going to give up on him... he thinks that i'll get bored eventually but i value his friendship and respect his skill far too greatly for that. so i check back once a week to see if there is an update.
i'm fascinated by nancy's post though... Nancy, did you find what you were looking for? I wrote something about this topic a couple of years ago but i think it still applies... don't know if it will be of use
http://www.lawrenceripsher.com/blog/2007/04/photography_is_.html
Posted by: Lawrence | January 20, 2010 at 02:22 AM
It is as easy as not responding to an email or comment from another photographer
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When did I finally admit to myself that I have no true talent for this medium?
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Posted by: Thomas Sabo Charms | June 30, 2011 at 11:38 PM
I will now commit to not comparing myself to others in the world of photography but rather endeavor to learn from them and continue to explore my own creative motivations.
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Back in my film days, 90% of my photographs were shot in b&w. Over time, I came to think in b&w. Only now do I realize what a powerful mindset that was. When you remove the color information, your mind changes. Think about how your previsualization works when you know that the color you are seeing will not be part of the final image. You immediately begin to focus on things like texture, contrast, tonal range, shape, and form. All of the subtle things can turn a good image into a great image. Heck, I used to actually use the "zone system" to place the shadows or highlights right where I wanted them. Just thinking about the zone system before pressing the shutter is an exercise in good photography. It causes you to consider the elements in the photographs as elements and how they should work as part of the whole.
Posted by: Tory Burch | August 23, 2011 at 11:39 PM
I decided I wanted to make this image a simple, colorful landscape. But when I was finished, I had the image in the middle and was pretty unsatisfied with the result. I mean, who needs another colorful landscape shot. How predictable and uninteresting. It doesn't have a mood, it doesn't feel like art. It feels like a nice vacation snapshot.
My thought process then turned to what I disliked most about the image...the predictable color. It's just too pretty. I liked the tonal range of the image and the composition, but the color was just too much. Plus it was just to crisp and clean. I decided it would be more interesting if it had the appearance of being an old photograph. More importantly,
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I decided I wanted to make this image a simple, colorful landscape. But when I was finished, I had the image in the middle and was pretty unsatisfied with the result. I mean, who needs another colorful landscape shot. How predictable and uninteresting. It doesn't have a mood, it doesn't feel like art. It feels like a nice vacation snapshot.
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I decided I wanted to make this image a simple, colorful landscape. But when I was finished, I had the image in the middle and was pretty unsatisfied with the result.
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I mean, who needs another colorful landscape shot. How predictable and uninteresting. It doesn't have a mood, it doesn't feel like art. It feels like a nice vacation snapshot.
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